To have daughters that would need their mother more, but she doesn’t make herself available for them because anything else in her life is more important than her children. May this statement is completely unfair, but from my point of view to many circumstances just proof that, my point of view is not that far off and what my kids mirror. Yes, I’m a man - not what women want, get trained by media to not want - so I can’t feel nor not even imagine what goes on within my girls, how “the other side feel”.

I’m fully aware this is an entry full of accusations. I did my share wrong in the relationship too, no cheating. But I was not aware enough to, to realize I may push my ex-wife away from myself. Or she simple wanted things that I wasn’t able to give her(?)

It’s sad and the time around Christmas is hard, because after more than month lying to the children, they were told, that her mother now leaves to live together with another man.

And just today was another outburst of my older daughter’s anger/helplessness, that was frightening, because to love her and not really able to help, does hurt me too.