A dark day, with a setback for myself and thinking about the kids. I wasn’t really there for them today.

I ate to much sweets and altogether. I don’t have any plans for New Years resolutions in regards to weight loss, because there is only the decision to make. I made the decision to let my restrictions go and now my body = I’ve to pay for it.

An excuse is this permanent mental load that I feel to carry with the moods of my kids, it’s not their fault but their behavior doesn’t help me either.

After all this years of my life, all the smart people I read about, so with all their knowledge available to me, I fail myself in developing further. It’s a shame, but a momentarily truth as well, at least I like to see it that way, because as long as I’m allowed to live, I won’t give myself up.

I had my fair share of bad moments today, partly my own fault, partly targeted because no one else was around. This doesn’t defined the day as a bad day, because in every day there is at least one breath, taken completely free of suffering. So nothing is lost, it is all again ready for a fresh start tomorrow and I make the decisions again.