I think I realized two things today:

  1. For my lawyer and so really all the other more or less institutions, the majority of us (the masses) are only leftovers, numbers.

Because as my lawyer was very pressured today, as he usual always is, he even mentioned as an example another institution, in that nobody has time anymore to care - about clients, feelings … as long as the Money flows or the potential of it, doesn’t disappear - there is no time left to deal with people, a number must do. Sure there is kind of judging involved, but it should not taken offensive, if the person addressed would think about it.

  1. [if you see a one at the beginning, it’s a formating issue after publishing I’m not able to figure out right away] I don’t be able to fight someone else, because I’m not able to feel enough hate to anyone so far I met - even under the recent circumstances - that I would do so. Okay my opponent complained even about it, as we should solve the issues as men, so maybe I’m not enough man. With all the bruises left over, I should be one now. 😳 I definitely don’t want to become a woman, I’m not gay either because I didn’t got sexual aroused during getting choked. Okay this went now far off topic. 😁

I like immediately to put in a disclaimer that I do know a lot LGBT people already and there is no discrimination inclined. I simple feel okay with what I, so far, identify myself with and not have any internal felt pressure, that I’ve to change that - what I’m thankful for.

I do feel that I’ve enough pressing problems I’ve to deal with, anyhow. This kind of problem on top would be a tipping point even, I think.

So it is a good feeling to have at least a couple of things in your life figured out and be able to use them as stabilizing pillar. I wish my girls that they will find their place in this very important question on their own without being manipulated by external influences, settle in themselves and prosper further.

And that they will know and feel that I’ll love them anyhow, whatever they decide to become in the end, if it occurs to change.