And may even die quite early in the process, because I get attacked by my ex-wife’s boyfriend the third time? - Who knows.

Had a conversation about holidays for my kids with her, where she accuses me that I’m not there for my kids. But because I’ve no money available, as she let freeze my accounts for the divorce process, how can this work at all, I asked myself.

I learned today one thing, I should have said “No” a way earlier, as it didn’t resonate well with my Ex, as her text replies showed. Usually the next step is intimidation via her boyfriend. But I’m okay with my “No” and ready to die for my kids, if this is necessary to keep them away from such a human being, if he really goes that far.

I don’t write this to show what a poor victim I am, I write that because I’m sad how people get completely brain washed by others.

I did got proof to that with my Ex, and I feel bad for her. As adult, she is responsible for herself and to many things she did (cheating, neglect their children, misuse of trust) I’m not willing to support her anymore.

I offered her a couple of times active support, but she always rejected it and her acting towards my children, as to myself too, set an endpoint to that.

And so many others are out there too, women and men, and I do regret that I’m not capable of having a better understanding, or is it my imagined flawless ness, to not be able to help the way this people would need it.

So I try to raise awareness to all this pressing issues, this ongoing manipulation in any areas of life and to hopefully reach people. To be able to let them realize that they have to start to take care about themselves, without hurting others. And to let them learn about and get them started to think for themselves. Followed by grasping, that there is this “bigger picture” and letting go of their fears. With all that lost fear, to also let behind this “instilled competitive behavior” and start working together finally - instead of, against each other.