Felt not good today, my kids are acting completely alienated from me, like I would be their stepfather.

I don’t know why, special my older one is trying to get away from me, she’s complaining without pausing whenever she can and I don’t want to argue anymore, when I’m exhausted because of other reasons. I simple have no “mental capacity” left, but she doesn’t care or realize that.

Unfortunately there is no quick fix and sometimes I wish it would be that I can simple go away and not care about it either anymore.

But I do believe and think they need me and I try to be more “energized” even if my body lets me down, to be more there for them.

I reached 1000 days of uninterrupted meditation today, nothing special for me, because I do it a way longer already. It doesn’t made me better, but also didn’t let me down either. Exactly what it is, it gives me every day space and let me realize how muh I love to life and all this beauty I’m surrounded by, even I’m occasionally to blind to recognize it.