I'm free ...
But I‘ve failed my kids.
Because I was part of the 50% wrongdoing too and not capable of providing them with stability and safety, when they needed it the most.
The two most important things for the majority, I think, all of the children - what they need the most, when growing up.
This is quite good documented by Gabor Maté with regards to his expertise in addiction behavior, where he asks - in my opinion the correct question - “Why the pain?” - instead of “Why the addiction?”
Even so, as my children didn’t grow up on the streets, or even worse, in a war zone - far from it - the mental impact is there and I hope I’ll be capable to support them to get over it in time.
That they are capable of being better, for themselves, than I was.
In finding “real, consistent love” and “building a functional”, a “sound relationship”, where both sides give a 100% of themselves, to make it great.
That they never let the relationship become a burden for themselves, their partners nor children.