Stefan Streit

  • A new decade ahead ...

    Great title but there is always a new decade ahead of us. It’s only about your point of view - you decide.

    2020 how long will it take until my brain uses this number consistently? šŸ¤Ŗ

    I didn’t make any big plans, I don’t follow any big goals, I don’t know where I’ll stand by the end of the year, because the final divorce act takes place, using an unfair system. My Ex and her boyfriend don’t care and only wait for their financial benefits. My kids - I hope I’ll be able to support them further, they are quite good manipulated by their mother too, at least it feels that way to me.

    Don’t get this wrong, I don’t see me generally as victim. It can become likely, quite bad for me and for my believes in a “safe financial = life’s future”.

    So the best things to do for me in 2020, don’t earn money at all, because 50% of any income earned following the law, will go to my Ex (her boyfriend) and to work on my beliefs.

    How quick it can go, I made my resolutions for 2020. šŸ˜‚

    I don’t get that much oxygen out of my breathing, so it’s not the alcohol (don’t drink at all) that causes my brain only work half of the time. šŸ˜

    Life loves me, all is good and I will prevail - so let’s start 2020 here in Ireland, too.

    All the best for the next decade and 2020, to start with baby steps. šŸ„³

    Log entry supplemental: With all this real and imagined problems I’m living with, I do have a really good, great life. I’m deeply thankful for that realization!

  • The work everyone has to do ...

    Number one breathing (clean air preferable)

    Number two drinking (none toxic water)

    Number three eating (hopefully with some nutrition value)

    Number four digesting (a nicer way said, instead using a strange emoji)

    Number five moving (hopefully with a completely functional body)

    Number six using all our brains (gut, brain what else) & our senses, body together as a whole

    Nothing more really - to be part of this planet, to be part of life.

  • Tired and self-centered ...

    I don’t feel good and it worries me. I brought my kids to her mom and miss them already. But this is also a feeling that let me only gravitate around myself. If you not healthy it’s not that easy to forget about yourself and let go.

    I listened to the Hurry Slowly Podcast, the third season (Ep. 1 & 2) and even with all the work people put in to their things, it shows the majority of them, even there are 7-8 billion around, feels alone. This is very often man made, because of our technology that was meant to be connecting us, now even more then ever it causes the majority of us to drift apart. I also watched a film, “Downsizing” that drew that same picture in other colors. It had a kind of Happy End but included as conclusion also uncertainties.

    It’s the inner peace, the realization of the actual moment, the Now that I’m still miss out on, or I still want to much of everything? That question alone will cause another sleepless night. šŸ˜

  • A no development day ...

    A dark day, with a setback for myself and thinking about the kids. I wasn’t really there for them today.

    I ate to much sweets and altogether. I don’t have any plans for New Years resolutions in regards to weight loss, because there is only the decision to make. I made the decision to let my restrictions go and now my body = I’ve to pay for it.

    An excuse is this permanent mental load that I feel to carry with the moods of my kids, it’s not their fault but their behavior doesn’t help me either.

    After all this years of my life, all the smart people I read about, so with all their knowledge available to me, I fail myself in developing further. It’s a shame, but a momentarily truth as well, at least I like to see it that way, because as long as I’m allowed to live, I won’t give myself up.

    I had my fair share of bad moments today, partly my own fault, partly targeted because no one else was around. This doesn’t defined the day as a bad day, because in every day there is at least one breath, taken completely free of suffering. So nothing is lost, it is all again ready for a fresh start tomorrow and I make the decisions again.

  • My kids are with me ...

    But angry most of the time and in front of their devices. Trying to getting them out doesn’t work, or only for a very short amount of time. The weather doesn’t help at all.

    Giving chores gets ignored, when I start complaining about it a fight will start - I’ve not enough energy for that.

    It’s way to warm here at the moment, I hope the temperatures going down again. The amount of clouds, the “feeling of no sunshine at all” is not something that raises the mood.

    What’s about the platforms that can be raised above the clouds to take a sunbath, I think they had something like this imagined for the film Oblivion.

    A podcast I listened today Shawn Stevenson’s “The model health show” with guest Marisa Peer, giving yourself the permission to be enough - completely agree with that. How to forward this understanding to my children without being again the weirdo? That’s another challenge to face.

    I’m always ready - might fail, but won’t give up and will prevail without causing harm.

  • I keep writing ...

    I keep it very short today because the day was short, kind of too.

    I was lucky today, a two hour window of sunshine and I did my daily walk just during this time. Before and after that time the day was dark and a way too warm.

    The next few days should be the same, without sun it’s not that easy to keep your spirit sain, but I won’t give up - you should do that either.

  • A day alone ...

    Not a bad thing, because I’m doing better over all and my habits keeping me sane, too. I at least believe it, may the surroundings see this different. šŸ˜

    I listened to another Podcast today, about all the things of growing your audience, business, e.g.

    Should we not more working on preparing ourselves to be able to survive and preserving the environment we want to grow in?

    Maybe I do not use the proper scale to all of this, not a scientist, but it feels to me, we see everything still a way too relaxed / too cool, not yet ready to apply “TOCILIC” … The Only Constant In Life Is Change.

    Yes, I know there should be this balance about living your current life, be fulfilled and not to be worried of the future instead too much. But is not happen enough already around the globe, so that we should start to change a little bit faster, too?

  • Merry ... whatever is important to you ...

    So many religions - so many misunderstandings - they usually where never be intended to be used in fighting each other, but so often misused to do just that.

    I wish you all the peaceful parts from any religion, all the parts of it, that respect life in every form and celebrate it.

    Please do not use this statement to judge abortion in any way because of it.

    I do think and hope always with support of her partner, a woman should have the last word in this matter, it can’t and never should be an easy decision.

    Today wasn’t a happy day for me, my kids rushed through their presents already in the morning, even so this should take place in the evening and I’m sad for them, that I wasn’t able to help them having “Christmas feelings” and to be together as family. To a point we failed us, but I’m thankful that they are here today at all.

  • I don't saw a lot of smiling people today ...

    It felt cold out there and it wasn’t the weather at all.

    Just listening to Scott Adams as guest on a Podcast, interesting conversation, broadcasted by “The Knowledge Project”.

    May that’s all I’ll put out there today, because it’s okay for me.

    I still kind of struggle with “putting out more in the world” because we are over floated anyhow. - but maybe there is - only an illusion behind it - That if only one in this 7-8 billion humans is reading this and his brain develops this “positive solution” to allow all “earth inhabitants” to live their full life’s and give enough room to allow the same life lived by the following generations - until the “normal ending” of this planet in the cosmic development is reached, “eaten” by its own sun - and by then exo planets reachable by us, what may once called “humankind” (joined by all the other living things from this planet), is arriving there to develop even further.

    And may I should stop eating sweets, because it’s the only stuff so far that may twists my brain I’m aware off.

    And I’m hate it that my brain is not capable to properly get the grammar right, that native and nonnative speakers will understand what I wanted to say with this. May it would be good to have only one language to get rid of all this misunderstandings caused by it - so Maths, I don’t get this either - I’m doomed.

  • Hope can be only in ourselves ...

    I’ve to remember myself about that quite often when anything around me doesn’t quite feel relaxed or easy going.

    My kids are tense but it was the time their mother left. I’m tense too, because I would love to have my kids around, but I’m alone a couple of days.

    Altogether more and more people are in this situation anyhow - but still I not getting it, why is the majority of people separating from each other more and more often?

    What is it we are continuously searching and believing to find anywhere else instead?

  • The Christmas tree is up ...

    Very early for me as Austrian. As child it was usual that the tree was brought in the house on the 24th and it become decorated throughout the day. Here in Ireland the tree goes up already short after, or on the 6th of December.

    I made myself a Christmas’s present too, I destroyed a light at my car with my own trailer and that will be expensive. As I try to avoid driving, my praxis goes down the drain, too.

    But all this little things … our Atmosphere has to cope with all the fires that are still on around the world, mainly in the media Australia. All the aftermath with sick people that will follow because of all the toxic gases. I’m thankful to be not around, not have to live there but the impact is worldwide, even we like to not think about it - pushing it away, is easy for me, too.

    I don’t want anyone to feel bad, but responsibility must be shared or there will be no places left were we can have fun or celebrate. I do think there is already so much in motion (yes always was, but with higher speed now) that we have to be very consciousness about what we - what I do next.

    As I’m writing this, it doesn’t mean I do the right things, right away, too. Doing the things that could be more of the right things, that should be done.

    But I hope I get myself into the position to not stop thinking about it.

  • It's hard to be a single parent ...

    To have daughters that would need their mother more, but she doesn’t make herself available for them because anything else in her life is more important than her children. May this statement is completely unfair, but from my point of view to many circumstances just proof that, my point of view is not that far off and what my kids mirror. Yes, I’m a man - not what women want, get trained by media to not want - so I can’t feel nor not even imagine what goes on within my girls, how “the other side feel”.

    I’m fully aware this is an entry full of accusations. I did my share wrong in the relationship too, no cheating. But I was not aware enough to, to realize I may push my ex-wife away from myself. Or she simple wanted things that I wasn’t able to give her(?)

    It’s sad and the time around Christmas is hard, because after more than month lying to the children, they were told, that her mother now leaves to live together with another man.

    And just today was another outburst of my older daughter’s anger/helplessness, that was frightening, because to love her and not really able to help, does hurt me too.

  • In Family we Trust ...

    I’m thankful that I’ve one that trust me and I really believe I did the things not so wrong overtime for them either. There is always uncertainty, because it is about money, a good that I not fully control, nobody except the central banks and the people behind them, unfortunately.

    All the recent events show clearly they don’t care about the majority of us, because they generate more and more “virtual money” - No, I don’t talk about Crypto Currencies - printing a lot too, because of that development. To prevent a collapse of the financial systems in preparing to save banks, for me “a legalized form of a criminal institution”, but that’s only my interpretation.

    But writing this, I always wondering why not the public defines inflation, interest rates, … there are a way lot more people they can handle math really well - not me. But the amount of people who make this decisions for us is really very, very small … hmmm šŸ¤”

  • A lot of rain ...

    I do think that we’ll unfortunately see this from now on a way more often, heavy rain in short periods of time. A “sped up climate” means quicker behavior changes in the local weather, too - everywhere. That said, constant weather for a way longer period of time we’ll see, too. Like consistent heat waves and that also can include cold periods, so far as I understand it.

    We forget, at least here in Ireland with all the rain and nasty cold weather in the moment very easily that the bush fires in Australia (other places too) are constant pushing CO2 up in the air. We doing this, blowing CO2 in the atmosphere, based on businesses that are dreaming already of 2040 that the passenger volume in air travel will be doubled - are we ultimately crazy and that’s it?

    Anybody it feels like, tries to get her/his last chance to see the world. And so the planet will be destroyed along the way?

    I don’t accept that, I won’t believe it, that we have to suffer before we are able to finally change.

  • Somebody listened ...

    I’m really thankful that the young doctor listened to me and together, we came after a reinsuring check carried out by her, to the same conclusion. She decided the medications to use and with regards of their amounts and length to take them. It was a very constructive visit. I’m already benefiting from the proper meds and it feels already so much better. The stuff I’ve to take, pushes you down, has an huge impact on your Physiology, but it goes now definitely in the right direction.

    Today, I showed myself two things.

    First, I was to negative yesterday and bound my expectations on past experiences instead embracing the Now.

    Second, as I wasn’t able to sleep at all last night - sleep tracking recorded roughly 4 hrs. - definitely not enough for me - that I used this time to positive prepare myself in how to properly present my story. As I know my own body now already close to half a century (sounds cool), I was able to draw a proper picture of myself.

    I was way more anxious during the night, really felt quite bad and helpless, but it turned out to be the right call.

    The conclusion of all of that, I’m still able to learn - and I’m happy and thankful to be able to do so!

    The bad thing I did today, I’m definitely not over my addiction, I bought a lot of sweet stuff - didn’t eat all of it - but it happened in alike unconscious state. Kind of frightening.

  • How to get understood ...

    That will be my challenge tomorrow. Unfortunately my inflammation won’t calm down so I’ve to visit the doctor. The problem with that in Ireland, they usually don’t listen I guess. I had a similar situation a couple of years ago. I got from two different local doctors (over 6 weeks) two different antibiotics none of them helped to address the root cause. Luckily I had to go to Austria for business reasons and visited my long term specialist. She immediately diagnosed me completely properly, I had to take for 5 days medication but was trouble free for years after that and no it wasn’t bacteria, so no Antibiotics. But when I tell this story here … I hope the doctor tomorrow will listen and think.

    I believe they don’t like there opinion to be judged by a none doctor, but I know my body now for close to half a century - yes, that counts if you not completely lost your mind in the meantime. That can happen. :-)

    One of the good and mainly complete lost things in our stupid busy world, to have a doctor in the tribe, who kind of grow up with you and knew you and your family surroundings.

    We are in this case so fed up by our technology developments, that we overlook this part, especially if the body is only seen as a living machine. Yes, we are not more then this - a biological machine, but the one big difference to a machine is the proven influence of the “stupidest part” in it - our brain.

    This part that have so many interconnections with your gut, heart, simple all of it - and yes, can be manipulated and stimulated from the outside (machinery), but mainly this happens through “ourselves”.

    Whatever this is in the correct context. I believe it is still overlooked by the majority, from ourselves and doctors, or simple got forgotten along the way of our own development into a more sterile environment?

    But it still counts.

  • Windy but no snow ...

    The weather forecast getting less and less reliable it feels like. May it is getting harder and harder to be reliable or less money is spend in important stuff e.g. weather stations to gather the important data from them. I don’t know.

    I do think we need this data in the future even to be more accurate, because the weather conditions will change more rapidly, too.

    I still feel very lame and yes it is frustrating. I can’t do proper conversations because I start coughing. Tomorrow, the doctor I’ve to go to will not test for Virus or Bacteria infections, the standard in Ireland (maybe everywhere) is to give an Antibiotic, and kill everything in the body, even the healthy bacteria will die, too.

    As with the environment we are at the brink with antibiotics but they are given like jellies in certain countries, I don’t get this. The only conclusion I can draw here as a non scientist, anything has to happen quicker - so no time left to heal, or do proper examinations because and for sure, it’s too expensive.

    Is this not also one of the things that will speed up the collapse of humankind? Maybe a planned thing even …

    At this point there’s only one thing left that I hope for my kids, myself and all the earth inhabitants - I do hope I’m very wrong in most of the “negative conclusions” I write, I really hope so!

    I absolutely don’t have a problem to be wrong and learn instead from it.

  • Snowflakes were falling ...

    It is to warm to give them space and I like them a lot, because they would bring this stillness and peace. More light during the day too, as they reflect it.

    I’m sad how it develops on the COP25, we can’t eat our stuff, especially not the money in it’s printed form, completely useless. We shouldn’t burn it either anymore.

    I try to sleep, not easy when you are sick, it’s also very easy to get selfish, because you only want to get better again. Everything around you is more easily forgotten by me.

    So get better and stop whining.

  • The doors are in ...

    A great achievement today, to have a place that you can close and it will stay dry inside, when you’re living in Ireland. I’m quite happy about that, but still sick and that is getting very annoying.

    Kids annoyed as well, as I’m not really there for them. And they are sucked into their devices and I do not know how to really get them away from it.

    So much to consume that they are missing out on the creating part, what I’m afraid of. When you feel permanent weak, as I do in the moment, I only can hope their brain can and will handle it. For sure is the whole situation my fault, because I bought them the devices, but the peer pressure shouldn’t be underestimated as well.

    I just felt it, as the right moment to excusing myself, in front of myself, too. :-) I do it as well, moving responsibilities away from myself.

    I, we should do less of that moving it away from us and instead start to taking on responsibilities more willingly.

  • Quick decisions made ...

    I do believe, they where no bad ones. Had to do with my “old profession”, everything worked out well. I could have saved money if I woulda done it earlier.

    But I strongly believe - or do I hope - we are soon beyond money anyhow.

    Because a virtual created and in endless growth driven good, that is of its infinitely character and not fair balanced in the given systems, will disappear sooner or later.

    Or its creators, human beings, will be first?

    Something that I deeply hope will not be the case, because it would be a real shame.

    If we’ll only be able again to get, beside all the smartness on this planet, the compassion & warm heartedness back into our lives.

    Then we’re really able to prove towards the universe, we are worth to stay and develop further.

    Hopefully, we will be quick enough to preserve this planet, too. Because that fact should allow us to do so, developing us further.

  • Another day ...

    Where my body is still in recovery. It is slow, I’m slow and tired. So many ideas during the day - not written down of course - and now forgotten for good.

    The kids are not with me but fine, this could be already all the good news for today, that I need.

    Greta Thunberg is talking in front of all these grown ups, but the powerful majority of women and men doesn’t care. It feels they can identify power only with ideals that don’t fit with step back, do less. If it doesn’t includes a benefit (usually growth oriented) for this individuals or groups of, then they are not interested to change anything.

    By all the smartness, are we lost in the end?

  • Anyone need to record ...

    Her / His Captain’s Log, because we are Captain of our own lives.

    Whatever someone else tries to implement in us, except you are under influence of drugs or complete isolation (anything similar to “brain washing”), you have to take control and responsibility.

    I fail so often at this task - it is already far beyond awkwardness, to be yet embarrassed about it anymore. (Comment: I tried more than half an hour to make sense out of this sentence above, not sure if I succeeded. May Iā€™m brain dead already, not yet realizing it?)

    To give up on it, is a “no choice”.

    Going on … with my own slowly healing … I want to be part of this “Think Tank” … that kind, that does not only throw out the “smart solutions” … not without implementing them in a symbiotic way including this planet - the universe it exists in … not without incorporate empathy in every step that is taken along the way of this development … for becoming a real part of the “earth inhabitants”.

    So it is not only about humans, there is more to take care of, I think.

    Would I only be capable of keeping that in my consciousness all the time, it would be really great. :-)

  • As nothing has happened ...

    We were lucky, as I was very often in my life and nothing bad happened around, nor to anyone of us. The storm was calmer than expected and I’m thankful for that.

    The sun was shining, a soft breeze and fresh air I enjoyed while I was walking. My body didn’t fit in that picture that well, but I’m not giving up on him.

    Next week I start working for the local community, it will be interesting to see if it work out for both sides, when it is not driven by money actually. Yes, there is fear involved about the unknown factors, but maybe it’s just fine and open up opportunities anyone can benefit of.

    My main concern here is once more my own body, the only place I can live in. If he’s sick or hurts, it’s simple no fun at all.

    I tempted here by the movie “Transcendence” (2014) but only if I understood it properly and the correct conclusion is, that anyone except me, can start over on a complete healthy planet earth. Without any functional weapons of mass destruction. Okay, maybe this last part was completely voluntarely added by me. :-)

    Just for giggles… I’m listening at the moment to Adam Rutherford “A brief history of everyone who ever lived” and it does give hope as well as helps you, to balance out your “own importance” at the end.

  • A stormy day ...

    Still not back where I should be with my health.

    Another bunch of hunters around the house, trespassing the property without permission to do so. They don’t care about their dogs, as well as they don’t care about the foxes. We have enough killing on this planet and mistreated animals.

    When will they grow up, this older men they were anyhow?

    And for sure, they drove endless up and down with their cars, because the weather was so nasty, they wouldn’t walk.

    I’m happy to have my kids around the second weekend in a row - feeling not well, but having someone around, does help.

    I hope we’ll see no damage around or on the house, but that to be discovered tomorrow.

  • Not dead but quite sick, still able to write this one :-)

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